People rely on things that shouldn’t matter, like their looks. This is when they cake on the make up or dress like they normally wouldn’t. Everyone can be beautiful without any of this. But when they start thinking that they can’t do anything or have friends or be loved without these materialistic things, or not being they is when they become so called ugly. I think that everyone should just be themselves and not hide behind those certain things, and open up and let everyone see who they really are and they will be liked for doing that. Marie is in high school, and she used to not really care what others thought of her but recently she changed her mind about that all. She now hides behind the make up and things she normally wouldn’t do for others and not her. She believes that nobody could like her for who she is. He and I are close so I was a little angry that she felt that way. So I told her “Well nobody is worth it, if they don’t like you for the real you then too bad, they don’t need you in their life.” I just do not understand why she has to hide behind everything. I just say “Take me or leave me, I’m not going to be someone else just to make you happy, I’m gonna be me.”
You've got a real point to make and a real opening and closing--but look at the middle where you need to give us the portrait of Marie. We need details of appearance, of her history, of the people who reject her.
ReplyDeleteHow about a rewrite, concentrating on the middle of the graf.